Time to Put on My Thinking Cap....

· Am I ready for a mentoring relationship?
When I was in the BTSA program, I thought that I’d like to be on the giving end of the relationship one day. I have had the opportunity this year to take a young colleague under my wing, at first because I wanted to help smooth their way and, lately, because she appears to be out of her depth. I’m finding that mentoring is very difficult. I get exasperated when my suggestions are not followed through with. It’s a tightrope act at times, keeping that careful balance between helping and hounding. I’m not her supervisor; I’m a peer, a colleague. I don’t have the authority to tell her what to do and when I see her not taking advantage of the help I’ve offered, I just want to throw up my hands and walk away. It’s draining to be in a difficult mentoring relationship but I wonder how much of my personality and attitude (self-righteous with a dash of overzealous) is part of the problem. Resentful of the time that this is stealing from my other duties, i must admit that I am not ready for a mentoring relationship in the midst of finishing iMet and trying to be a tech coach. Did I tell you that I’m teaching a 90-minute French 2/3 class too?
I ought to mention that I wrote the initial paragraphs (italicised) to each question before I had read the article- “The Role of Teacher as Mentor” by Lois Zachary (yes, yes, I wasn’t following directions!). What is interesting is that it highlights my own assumptions about the mentoring process. As I was reading the article, I was thinking back to these responses and found it very interesting to note differences that I would make AFTER reading the article.
In particular, I’m thinking about the colleague I mentioned above. I have been forced to mentor her and can see that I am resentful of the drain on my available time. Had we had a chance to discuss our expectations and worked to draft something together, then we might be having a more successful relationship. Right now I don’t feel that I am getting anything out of it and I’m sure that she feels pressured by it as well. Since we’ve never talked openly about it, perhaps she isn’t getting much or anything out of this relationship as well.
· What mentoring skills do I have?
I’m very happy to share ideas and resources. I listen well and am inventive. Coming up with strategies that lend themselves to the teaching style and class composition/strengths is a pleasure to me. I care greatly about my students, the ones I’ve had, the ones I have, the ones I will have...even the ones that my colleagues have. That’s why I’m happy to share.
I think that another one of my skills is that I’m flexible. I roll with the punches and can go with the flow.
· What mentoring skills do I need?
Patience and...patience. I get easily frustrated and irritated if I feel that my time is being wasted. I’m a professional and hold myself to a high standard. I won’t do a shoddy job but, if I feel that I’m throwing pearls before swine, well, it just makes my blood pressure rise.
After reading the article, I realise that the skill I really needed to utilise with my colleague was planning. While I was quite thorough in planning the curriculum, I never once thought to plan the mentoring path, never sat down and thought just what I’d need to go over with her in order to create a successful mentoring relationship.
· What are my personal development goals as a mentor?
This was the one question that I had absolutely no answer for before the article and even now I find it difficult to answer. I’m very visual; while I have great faith, I learn things better once I’ve seen it in action. I’m thinking that once I get started in a properly planned mentoring relationship, one where none of the phases is skipped, that I’ll know better what my answer to this question would be.
· How will I go about enhancing my skills?
Learning how to count to 10 before I speak. Listening to my thoughts before I turn them into utterances.
If I leave my preconceived notions at the door and truly allow for a reflective, reciprocal relationship, I think that my natural empathy will help me enhance my skills in order to be of more use to a mentee. This is another answer that I think needs quality mentoring experience beforehand in order for me to properly respond.